A swift kick in the pants

Sorry it has taken so long to come back on here.  It has been really busy here.  I have been gone everyone night this week. Oh and I have also been learning how to shop with coupons.  It is fascinating!!! I go for the first time today.  I have my list and my coupons.  I am ready. Anyways, back to my story.

So as I sit there contemplating all the ways I can tell my husband and family. I think of all of these creative ways. I think about wrapping a jar of prego for my parents or mailing them something. I think about making a banner for my husband or putting little slips of paper in ballons and making him pop them.  I creating a puzzle with where he has to put it together.  My daydream bubble is busted when I  look down at the stick and realize that I do not need to worry about telling my family, husband, or anyone because it is a Big Fat Negative. Honestly, I was not that disappointed because I was naive to what laid ahead. I was looking forward to the practice with my new husband.  My attitude was so care free back then.  We had so many options and avenues.  I had plenty of time and was confident that I would be pregnant in no time

I actually would not get my period a whole another year and a half. I went to the doctor.  He just told me "well if you really want it I can bring your period on but it is no big deal if you don't have it"  Now let me explain one thing. I know I was a 21 year old female but I honestly did not know a lot about getting pregnant. I mean I knew where babies came from....I don't need that lecture! What I mean is that I did not know that if you were not having your period, you were not ovulating.  So when my doctor acted like...."Aren't you happy that you don't have your period every month and why would you want to bring it on?" I was like okay don't start it.  Now that I am older and have done through many years of infertility treatments and counted every cycle day I have had and BD down to an exact second I know how stupid that was.  So I basically wasted a year and a half of baby trying.  It was not going to happen.  No period.....No baby.  Part of me wants to go back and smack that doctor because he knew we were trying to get a baby.  After a year and a half of trying on our "own" I decided to go to another doctor.  One that came recommended.  Supposedly we delivered Arnold Schwarzenegger babies. I was so excited!!  I learned a lot from this doctor and he put me on the first of my many fertility regimen.  From this doctor I learned for the first time that .......

Remember I am telling these stories to tell you how this blog came to pass. It is a good story. I promise.  Please keep reading and bring others. Below is my laugh for the week.  When I saw this I started laughing.  Talk about a slap in the face. LOL!! This was what I got in my mailbox this week.

My first time peeing on a stick

I arrive home from my honeymoon and go about life as a normal newlywed couple. Awww the bliss!! Chasing each other around the room....wait oh sorry.  get my mind back to the story.  So I am a week late on my period and I get so excited.  Now I should say that from the age of 14, aunt flo has never visited on schedule with out help....so inconsiderate.  However, I had been birthcontrol and was on scheduled right before my honeymoon.

So I drive to the dollar store to get pregnancy test.  I mean, come on, I am a college student married to a college student.  No e.p.t.'s for this chick.  They were like $18.  Okay maybe not that much but might as well have been with my budget.  So I go to the dollar store to get my pregnancy test. I am walking up and down every aisle. scouring the shelfs....nothing..nada...zilch.  So I finally ask a worker if they have any pregnancy test.  She yells across the store to the cashier...."Do you still have those pregnancy test up there?"  Gee!!! Lady I mean what if I wanted to keep it on the DL (down low). I mean what if I am a teenager trying to hide it from my momma. I mean....I thought I looked that young.  Okay maybe not so much.  So after I get an affirmative all the way across the store.  I proceed to buy my first every pregnancy test.  How exciting.

I don't know why some cashiers feel the need to ask you about the details of why you are taking the test or wish you luck.  Not all do it but every once in a blue moon I have had a cashier play 20 questions with me.  Same with this one.  She looks at it "Awww a pregnancy test.  Are you excited? Do you think you are pregnat?  How long have you been married?" and so on.  I also don't know why I get so embarassed everytime I buy a pregnancy test.  I feel almost like I am trying to look grown up.  Like I am saying "Yeah I am grown up enough to possible be pregnant. I am so cool"  I am such a dork sometimes.

So I dash home.  I am dreaming of all the ways I am going to tell Milton or my parents or his parents.  I read the directions....reread just to make sure I have it. Pee on a stick and get a Big Fat.......

any stories that you would like to share while I drag this story out?  Dont worry I will get to it next post

From the Beginning

As the main author of this blog I thought it might be a good idea to tell you how I came to this point in my life.  to tell you of my journey.  It might be longer. It might be shorter. It might be less and it might be more than what some of you have gone through.  It is a part of me and has shaped the person that I have become.
In 2003 I married my sweetheart.  I was a very young 21 year old but oh so in love.  All up to the wedding we decided that given my medical history it wsa best to try for a baby right away.  I know people would feel that was stupid but after taking to my doctor he felt it was best or if we were going to wait to not wait too long. So we made our decision to start right away.

 So fast forward to the honey moon.  I had gotten off birth control about 2 months before.  Since I was on birthcontrol my periods were regular. Without giving TMI, we were typical honeymooners and maybe even more excited because we had waited until marriage to have "relations".....do the hortizontal polka.....dirty dance... you get the point.We walked around Hawaii blissfully happy unaware of the journey ahead of us. 

One sunny afternoon, we sat infront of a statue of a famous surfer named Duke Kahanamoku.  We joked that if I got pregnant with a boy we would name him Duke or at least his middle name.  Sometimes I wish we could rewind to that day.....when we did not know about the hard work ahead of us.

3 weeks after returning home from my honeymoon I was officially a week late..........

to be continued

First of Many

Today is the day!! Our first posting here on "Keeping the Hope." I hope everyone is excited as I am. I have been contemplating on what to write. How can you express your hopes and dreams for something like this. I want to uplift sooo many and keep the hope going. I tried to put myself in readers shoes and think about what I would want to read. I have a million ideas floating around in my head that I feel like are going to explode any minute. How do I take all those and make it a blog that family, friends, couples, and individuals want to read? The thought finally came to me....Just ask!

So here is me asking you...."What do you want to see on this blog?" "How can we keep the hope going?" "How do you want this blog to differ from other infertility blogs?" My other concern is that in order for this blog to be successful we have to get a following going. How do we do that? All ideas, thoughts, and suggestions are welcomed!!!!

I will keep it short today because I am so anxious and excited to hear your ideas. However, I do want to point out one thing....Did you see our one and only rule on the right hand side? I hope I explained it clearly enough. We do not want this blog to be about how to get a child or baby....we want it to be about keeping the hope for you during this journey. Okay I have rambled long enough. keep those comments coming!

Hope this post finds you smiling......